7 Ways to Change Negative Thoughts Getting in The Way of Your Success
If irrational thoughts are holding you back from reaching your full potential, here’s how to begin to retrain your mindset:
Re-examine the evidence.
Don’t simply assume your negative thought is true. For example, if you keep thinking your supervisor won’t like your ideas no matter what, recall a time when she or your team rallied behind you, even in the smallest ways. Don’t be afraid to prove yourself wrong.
Drop the double-standard.
If you had a friend in the same position as you are now, would you allow them to wallow in distress or would you point out the ways they’re being illogical and falling victim to a negative cycle? You’d most likely be both realistic and supportive, so show yourself that same compassion.
Give your experience a realistic rating.
If you’re convinced a presentation you just gave was a disaster, take deep breath and try to rate it on a scale of zero to 100. Unless it’s a zero or a 100 (both of which are unlikely) it’s not perfect, but it’s not all bad either. That means there’s hope.
Ask for feedback.
When you feel trapped in a distorted thinking, turn to colleagues and mentors you trust. Proactively seek feedback, instead of hiding from it. They’ll be able to gently let you know about what you might need to work on, but also reassure you that it’s very unlikely things are as bad as you think.
Share the blame.
Try to be realistic about what caused the negative event you’re facing instead of piling all the culpability onto yourself. In most situations, a number of circumstances have to come together to make something happen. Take personal responsibility for your contribution, but realize you’re not the sole reason a meeting went south or your team lost that client.
Make your self-talk work for you instead of against you.
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself, particularly if your internal dialogue is full of harsh criticisms or berating self-talk. There’s no shortage of self-help gurus who swear that repeating positive phrases to yourself can change your life. They say that if you simply tell yourself “I am strong and successful” your fears will begin to diminish. Fake it, until you become it.
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